bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize