Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
