I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
