It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the liver wants what the liver wants
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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