his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
