if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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