he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
