So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
