Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
