I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
