do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
