actually, I'm a sock model
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you will always have a special place in my vag
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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