so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
