is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
