I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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