All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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