Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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