she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i believe in u and ur pee
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
