Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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