I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
