If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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