dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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