I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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