I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
