she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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