Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
