It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
