Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
