that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
