someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
