You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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