Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
