just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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