And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
