He asked me if I "almost moaned"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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