i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
