yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
