hotel room ftw
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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