i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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