So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
