I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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