When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
