what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
