the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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