the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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