How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im six kinds of drunk right now
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
