I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
