I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
