i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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