they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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