I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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