i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
