She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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