as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize