and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
