He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
