your room smells of hookers.
And success
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
