nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
