New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize