Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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