We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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