how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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