That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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