Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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