I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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