i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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