So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
