I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
