I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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