he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
