its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
is this the sara with the beer cane?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
