STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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