im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
