If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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