do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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