it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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