with your own penis?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize