Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
