one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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