Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
