Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
