So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
