feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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