I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
